I have eyes in the back of my head and the ability to know exactly what you are about to do, and why you think you are going to get away with it... You are not!!
Mother dear, mother dear,
There is no need to feel fear,
for I am here, yes me - the one,
your everything from earth to sun.
When on supply,
I did wonder why
You never felt the urge
To break down and cry,
And then I remember,
Through thick and thin,
There I was,
Kind and comfortin'.
You're almost ready every morning,
For a random job without warning,
There're often no plans and you wonder why,
There're suspicious circumstances but there's no need to cry,
For I am here your daughter that's small,
To help you get through it all.
I can make porridge, tea and beans on toast,
I'm the one who will support and help you the most,
I'm told I am helpful, kind, and cute,
I play many instruments including the nose flute.
You can rely on me to be around
Wherever you are - in space or underground,
Because whatever you want wherever you may be,
It's probably got something to do with me.
By Robin aged 12
Always on my best behaviour,
To the rescue, teacher’s saviour.
I come prepared, I feel the onus -
If planning’s left it’s just a bonus.
Armed with worksheets, pens and stickers,
Wet wipes, hair-bands and spare knickers.
A full PE kit in my boot,
With wellies and a nasal flute,
A hand-puppet and large maracas,
My friends and family think I’m crackers.
But modelling origami flowers
Is just a taster of my powers.
I teach on each and every theme,
In settings some would judge extreme.
Across the schools, I span key stages,
All for very meagre wages.
Fuelled by Merlot, tea and cake,
I leave them awe-struck in my wake
I work outside the laws of nature.
I am the Super-Educator!
Grant me many pre-booked days
At perfect schools with fab TAs.
And failing that an early call –
Not too far, with classes small.
Let all the traffic lights be green,
Allowing me to slip unseen
Into the class before the bell,
To suss things out, my fears to quell.
May there be planning comprehensive,
A working whiteboard interactive,
Daily schedule on display,
Lovely weather; no wet play,
Staff who show me to the loo,
Smile and offer up a brew,
Kids who know their own maths places,
Eager, smiling, happy faces.
I’ll challenge and differentiate,
Their little minds to educate.
But please don’t leave me much to mark;
I’d like to leave before it’s dark.
If these demands are not denied,
My super-powers will be supplied.
I’ll meet the needs of wild or passive,
To educate the Primary Massive.